


Compass

by AlexandrianSight



Series: Killing You is Hard [1]
Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Chell on the surface, Gen, Post-Portal 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-24 12:46:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7508824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexandrianSight/pseuds/AlexandrianSight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> "She’d known that fifty thousand years was a long time, and she had no idea what had happened to the world in that time, but she wasn’t expecting this." </i>
</p>
<p>After finally escaping Aperture Science, Chell does her best to live on the surface.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Days

**Author's Note:**

> So I found this old oneshot I'd written years ago, polished it up, and added about 20 pages of writing, which made it necessary to split it up. It's really just something to get me back into the groove of writing, plus I replayed Portal 2 recently so I'm in the mood for it. 
> 
> As far as tagging it as ChellDOS - it's not really a shippy fic, just one meant to represent my theories on Chell's experiences and reflections once she reaches the surface. However, after writing and rereading it, I realized there were some elements in here that the shippers would probably enjoy. It's nothing major, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Approx. Read Time: 6 Minutes

It had been days since Chell had escaped Aperture.

 

And she still found herself hovering at the edge of the wheat field, with the old shed still in sight.

It had only taken a few minutes to reach the edge in her joyful sprint when she had initially been released. Beyond the field was a small expanse of trees that extended just far past her line of vision. Undaunted, Chell simply breathed in the fresh, unrecycled air and started making her way through the woods, heading south. She stopped at a small stream to gulp down some water (seeing as the last bit of water she’d had was from a dripping ceiling when she’d first woken up) as well as bathe (She didn’t even want to think about how long it had been).

Feeling a pang in her stomach, Chell had stopped and contemplated various fruits and mushrooms growing near the stream, which could be highly nutritious - or highly deadly. In spite of her stomach’s protests, she opted out of testing the plants, deciding that she didn’t make it out of Aperture just to immediately die due to being unable to identify edible plants. Besides, if she found civilization fast enough, she’d have access to proper food that was _definitely_ not poisonous. And some clean water. And maybe even a bed. Or a hospital, as it seemed she probably needed medical attention in some way or another. Hospitals had beds, and food, and water, and beds…

Chell shook away her thoughts as she walked. The sun was setting, yes, and yes, her muscles were all mind-numbingly sore due to her time down in that scientific prison. But now was not the time to rest. She’d slept for over fifty thousand years, and she’d only woken up a few hours ago after passing out from the whole moon ordeal. She could stand to at least make it out of these woods before taking another break.

Nighttime had set in long before the woods around Chell started to thin. Excited at the prospect that maybe there was a town nearby, Chell had started running again even as her leg muscles cried out. As she broke out of the expanse, her hopeful smile disappeared and her heart dropped into her stomach at the sight.

A wasteland.

Past the practical oasis surrounding the Aperture Shed, the Earth was a wasteland. Chell knew very well what the upper peninsula of Michigan had looked like before she became a test subject, and it definitely was not the barren expanse that lay before her.

Chell had sunk to her knees as despair (and tiredness) overcame her. She’d known that fifty thousand years was a long time, and she had no idea what had happened to the world in that time, but she wasn’t expecting this. Nature had taken over Aperture’s labs so easily, so why not out here? What had happened while she was asleep?

Forgetting that she was no longer under surveillance and therefore didn’t have to hide her emotions from a looming AI, Chell had kept her tears in as she leaned against a nearby tree and let sleep overcome her.

Now, though, Chell was sitting under the shade of the trees just outside the wheat field, with the Companion Cube sitting near her and making itself useful as a table for her food. After waking up, Chell’s survival instinct had kicked in again and she immediately went back into the woods in search of food. She let herself wander in what had seemed to be an aimless fashion as she gathered and speculated various nuts, berries, and mushrooms. She’d ripped off part of the top half of her orange jumpsuit and reassembled it so it made a pouch for her to store her findings in.

At one point, when she was wandering and eating nuts that tasted like dirt, Chell considered that maybe she could make a life for herself here, in these woods. She silently worried about the proximity to Aperture, but ultimately decided that staying here was the best option.

For now, at least.

Chell still had injuries as well as mild malnourishment and dehydration, all of which she had to recover from before she could even _think_ to start the trek across the wasteland in hopes of finding some semblance of civilisation. These woods may be unnervingly close to what Chell considered her prison, but there was food and water and soft ground here, as well as shelter from the sun. Yes, these woods would have to do until Chell was strong enough to start her journey. Provided she didn’t die from a poisonous berry.

Chell was drawn out of her thoughts when she realized where her “aimless” wandering had brought her. She was once again staring out at the perfectly golden wheat field, whose purity was only tarnished by the ugly electric shed in the middle of it. With a sigh of resignation, Chell warily made her way back to the shed in hopes of there being some useful equipment around it.

When she finally made it to the shed, Chell had stood in shock as she stared at the Companion Cube. She’d completely forgotten about it in her mad dash for freedom, yet here it was.

Chell was no fool and, as far as she could tell, she wasn’t brain damaged. She’d never thought of the Companion Cube as an actual companion, merely as a means to an end. Fifty thousand years ago, in that test chamber, Chell had known exactly what kind of psychological trick the disembodied voice was trying to play as it tried to conjure up an attachment between the test subject and the box. Her self-awareness was probably why Chell was the fastest test subject to incinerate her cube.

For a brief moment, Chell considered leaving the cube where it was. It wasn’t as though it would be very useful to her. She turned to walk away, then remembered something, and crouched down to investigate the cube and all its charred parts.

All Companion Cubes look the same, but Chell remembered making a dent in hers when she’d accidentally dropped it in a panicked attempt to dodge a plasma ball. If this was really hers…

There it was! Small, barely noticeable, but the dent was there. This was her cube. Chell sat back on her feet as she contemplated this. Even if incineration hadn’t immediately destroyed the cube, surely fifty thousand years would have. And, as she studied it, Chell realized that there was no real damage to the cube at all. It looked as though it were merely in a very smoky room, maybe rolled around in some soot. Chell used her hand to wipe away some of the soot, revealing the cube to be almost pristine - besides the wear and tear of age, that is.

Chell considered the only reasonable conclusion: GLaDOS had never really sent the cube to its fiery death, or maybe she had saved it at some point when it was on its way. But why? Sure, that was before Chell killed her, but there was still no reason for it. The AI had saved the cube when she still had numerous cores attached to her that restricted her from fully simulating any sort of emotion, at least as far as Chell knew.

A few berries had spilled out of Chell’s makeshift pouch when she shifted her weight, and she again sighed with resignation as she picked up a nearby cable and tied it to the Companion Cube. She then carried it backpack-style back over to the shade of the trees, just as surprised by its lightness as she had been the first time she picked it up. Yes, it could be useful as a table of sorts to organize her (potentially deadly) food.

This was how she was using the cube now, as she leaned against a tree facing away from the wheat field and organized her berries and mushrooms into piles on the Companion Cube. She snacked on the nuts she had found - at least it was easy to identify edible nuts - as she scrutinized her other findings.

The sounds of nature surrounded her. Chell had yet to see any animals up close, as they all ran from her foreign footsteps. But now, as she sat almost still and silently worked, she got to catch glimpses of squirrels leaping over the roots of trees, stopping as suddenly as they start in order to investigate something on the ground. She caught a glimpse of a turtle lazily swimming in the stream. At one point, a bird caught her eye as it flitted down from the tree and onto the ground in search of material for a nest.

_“BIRD! BIRD! Kill it! It’s evil!”_

Chell flinched and her heart stopped at the sound of GLaDOS's voice. Panicked, she looked around for the source of the shout when she realized that the bird was still hopping around peacefully. If these animals ran when they heard Chell walk, certainly this bird should have flown away at sudden shout.

Chell sighed and buried her head in her hands, massaging her forehead and eyes, and breathed deeply in an attempt to slow down her heart rate. It was just a memory. Worse, it was a memory that she had almost believed was a reality. Chell didn’t know whether it was due to trauma, or her weak physical condition, or some combination of the two, but she definitely did not want that to happen again, especially with a less harmless memory.

She yawned and rubbed her eyes again. It was daytime, yes, but it had been more than twenty-four hours since her little nap against the tree near the Wasteland. Maybe refusing to let herself sleep _wasn’t_ the best idea when she still had a lot of physical recovery left.With this, Chell pushed the cube aside - it was much too tall to serve as a pillow - and curled up on the ground, falling asleep in seconds.

With this, Chell pushed the cube aside - it was much too tall to serve as a pillow - and curled up on the ground, falling asleep in seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest will be posted soon! Most of it's written, actually (I'm on the last chapter), and my original plan was to wait until I'd finished all of it before posting anything, but I decided to go ahead and post the first chapter.
> 
> As always, if you want any updates or have any questions, feel free to contact me via the comments right here or through my tumblr, alexandriansight.tumblr.com


	2. Weeks

It had been weeks since Chell escaped Aperture.

 

And she felt that she was ready, finally ready, to venture out into the Wasteland.

Her diet of nuts, berries, and mushrooms may not have been ideal, but her body had adapted to expect the food and she felt she had recovered. She wasn’t entirely sure of the passing of time since her sleep schedule was anything but regular, but she estimated that about six weeks had passed, and she was practically thriving in the woods.

Chell knew this area of the woods like she knew the back of her portal gun. Using some wheat stalks and her own wit, she’d also refashioned and reinforced her makeshift pouch to be more durable and easier to carry. In it, she had a generous supply of food that would hopefully last her at least until the next patch of woods she found (assuming this wasn’t the only one). She relearnt how to start a fire and she knew which trees offered the most comfort for sleeping. Of course, she never built herself a proper shelter, since a shelter would imply some sort of permanence. She instead relied on the thick foliage of the trees when it rained.

The only issue she’d come across was that she didn’t have anything to carry water in. She’d realized this about three weeks in, then immediately set to work figuring out a solution. She knew water would just seep through any cloth pouch made from her clothes or anything she could weave with the wheat stalks. She also had no desire kill any of the animals for food, much less to use their skin to carry water around. No, Chell felt that she’d had enough of killing for a lifetime.

At one point, though, Chell came across a tree whose bark had been removed - whether it was ripped off by an animal or a force nature, she didn’t know - and found the exposed phloem to be very malleable and dense. She went to work, forming and shaping the underbark to something resembling a water pouch, then added on layers to help thicken it. She then took a smaller piece and formed it into a cork to close the top. Chell examined her creation before setting it out to dry, unsure if this would work. If it didn’t, she was out of ideas. The soil around her was inadequate for any crude pottery she could try, and even if she _wanted_ to use animal hide, she still had no method with which to actually kill one.

Much to her relief, Chell discovered the next morning (or midday, it seemed) that her invention worked, bringing her one step closer to escaping this prison-

No. Not escaping. Chell often had to remind herself that these woods weren’t her prison, in spite of their proximity to her real one. She was free, finally free. She wasn’t trapped. She was _choosing_ to stay in these woods, with their promising resources and shelter. And she would _choose_ to leave once she healthy and prepared enough.

So why hadn’t she left yet? It had been over a week and a half since she’d successfully made a water container, which was arguably the last thing she needed to do. She was free to go, so what was stopping her? What was preventing her from walking away from Aperture once and for all?

Simply put, fear. Fear of the unknown, of what lay past the Wasteland. In these woods, Chell could make her own rules as far as how she lived her life. But out there, she had no idea what the rules were, how she would be threatened.

This was all assuming that there were even higher life-forms out there to _make_ the rules.

At one point, during a thunderstorm in her first week, when Chell was wet and cold and hungry and _weak_ , she’d even considered returning to Aperture, returning to that condescending, homicidal robot. It was all through simple reasoning, too. She would be in danger either way, but at least she knew what the dangers were down in the underground labs.

Chell reflected on that moment of weakness now, as she stood at the edge of the Wasteland, bathed in moonlight, the Companion Cube strapped to her back and her supplies strapped around her hips. Yes, she would have to leave now. If she continued to stay, she might have another moment of weakness, one that might win over her stubbornness.

Once again, she considered leaving the cube behind. It was just extra weight that she was carrying around, and it still wasn’t much of a companion. After all, what kind of companion can’t threaten to stab you?

And, once again, Chell decided to keep the cube. Over the past few weeks, she’d come to see it as a trinket, a souvenir. Like a keychain you buy in the gift shop of an amusement park. A big, metal, strapped-to-your-back keychain that you receive after fifty thousand years of being trapped in an underground amusement park with a murderous - no, _two_ murderous robots.

Chell huffed and set out on her trek. She’d decided to leave at night so that she was less exposed to the scathing sun. The moon was full in a clear sky, unblocked by tree foliage. Chell tried not to think about the moon. Or crows. Or potatoes. Strangely enough, something as blatant of a reminder as the Companion Cube didn’t affect her, but the moon did. She shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts, her steps becoming more and more confident as she walked, refusing to let herself look back.

As she walked, she couldn’t help but feel exposed. There was nothing out here to hurt her, but she was exposed nonetheless, out of the safety of the trees, and she couldn’t help but reconsider her decision to go without a weapon.

She was going to get lost. Good and lost. So lost that she couldn’t find Aperture if she wanted to. Not that she’d ever want to, that is. Proximity may have made it tempting to return to the facility when she was feeling weak, but out there? Out there, her only option was to die if she didn’t find civilisation.

And she was perfectly fine with that.


	3. Months

It had been months since Chell had escaped Aperture.

 

And she was completely lost.

Granted, this had been her original goal, but now she was stranded with no idea how to return to the only landmark she knew. She couldn’t prevent a feeling of panic from bubbling up every now and then.

Chell had travelled from forest to forest, with barren wasteland in between them. While she still didn’t know what had happened to the planet, she drew comfort from knowing that the planet was recovering, albeit slowly. She headed in any direction -  south, east, west, any direction besides north. North was where Aperture was, and even though it was irrational (especially since she was hopelessly lost), Chell couldn’t get rid of the paranoid feeling that heading north for more than a little bit would somehow drop her right back in that wheat field.

She was decidedly travelling east now, with the Companion Cube strapped to her back and a crude spear in one hand. She’d fashioned it a couple of days into her journey using a branch and a sharp rock. It was purely so she could protect herself, of course. She still refused to kill anything for food. Her plan was to walk, and keep walking. When in a Wasteland, she never stopped, not until she’d reached her next patch of forest (which sometimes took longer than a day). Once she was safely under trees again, she’d take a day or two to rest up and restock her supplies.

It was a harrowing journey, and there were some nights where she couldn’t help but break down into tears because surely, _surely_ she should have found something by now, some sort of evidence of human life.

She always recovered from these episodes, though, and by the next morning she was just as resolute as ever.

There was one night in particular where, after accidentally inhaling a tiny leaf and proceeding to cough it out, Chell realized that she still hadn’t spoken.

She was capable of speech, of course, or at least she _was_. But that was before she had woken up to a disembodied female voice in a pristine relaxation chamber. Chell had always been a silent tester, even before she was filed under “Do Not Test.” She simply never saw any need to speak while testing. The scientists never cared about that. In fact, they cared more about the fact that Chell refused to leave a test chamber until it was solved - even if someone opened up the wall panels to reveal a way out. Initially, that had made her a good test subject, until an incident involving an Unstationary Scaffold caused the scientists to rethink a test subject that refused to give up.

But that voice, which Chell later learned belonged to GLaDOS, that voice _cared_ that Chell didn’t respond, that she didn’t say anything. It wasn’t obvious, at first, as it was hidden under the AI’s robotic tone caused by the Morality Core. But as Chell had traversed through the backstage areas of Upper Aperture, it had become clear that GLaDOS was annoyed by her refusal to speak.

 

_“Is anyone there?”_

_I’m here,_ Chell had thought with a smirk as she leapt off of a piston. _I'm here and I'm getting out of this place._

_“Did you hear me? I said you don’t care. Are you listening?"_

Chell had been holding the jabbering Curiosity Core when the GLaDOS had said this, and it had taken a lot of effort not to smile. The AI was dying, it was dying and it cared more about the fact that Chell wasn’t responding to its snide comments.

_“You dangerous, mute, lunatic.”_

 

Chell flinched and her back shot forward off of the tree she was leaning against. She stared steadily at a beetle a few feet away as it crawled, attempting to regain control of her breath. It was a couple of seconds before she realized that her left hand was covering her right fist, with both clutched tight to her chest, as though she were holding the portal gun. It was a panic reflex that she hadn’t realized had stayed with her until a couple of months ago - she’d almost hit herself in the face with her makeshift spear.

Chell leaned back against the tree again and took a sip of water. She gingerly felt her throat with her fingers as though it were injured, even though it wasn’t. Fifty thousand years without using her voice? She was lucky that none of her other bodily functions weren’t affected. Well, none of the ones that she could check. She was sure that GLaDOS would have considered it her just desserts if her voice was rendered useless after refusing to speak for so long.

Chell opened her mouth to make an attempt to say something, but quickly closed it and laid down. No, she didn’t want to know. Not today, at least.


	4. Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where action starts happening, so if you're just here for contemplative Chell, then idk what to tell you

After six months of carrying it around, Chell finally decided to leave the Companion Cube behind.

 

She was standing, staring at an infrastructure way out in the distance. The only thing between her and civilisation was one last, long Wasteland. She told herself this was the last time she’d have to trek across one of these, the last time she’d have to eat nuts and berries and drink questionable water.

She decided it would be easier to blend in if she wasn’t carrying a giant metal box on her back. Even in her dirty, disheveled state, she knew the cube would stand out more than she could on her own. With that, she carefully stowed it in a bush and even felt a twinge of sadness as she turned away. It couldn’t threaten to stab her, no, but the cube really had become the closest thing she had to a companion throughout her journey. She pushed away her sadness by reassuring herself that if she wasn’t killed by whoever was in there and actually managed to make a life in that place, she’d find a way to get the cube and bring it back. Maybe she’d clean it up and use it as an end table. Or maybe she’d give it a good polish and put it on a shelf like a trophy. The award she won for escaping from a homicidal AI’s reign.

But even through these hopeful thoughts, doubt crept in, along with dread. The city - or what seemed to be a city - was far, but she could tell it was surrounded by a giant wall. No matter what the reason, that didn’t bode well. Even amongst her relief at finding civilisation, Chell was still determined to keep her head clear. As she set out across the moonlit expanse, she mentally prepared herself for whatever scenarios she could think of. Dystopian rulers. A return to “primitive” civilisation. Sentient cloud. Robot uprising.

Chell almost laughed at that last one.

But she wasn’t prepared for what greeted her when she finally reached the outer walls of the city. There was an old barbed-wire fence that marked the line between the Wasteland and what she assumed were the city limits, and it stretched out further than she could see on either side. She quickly climbed over it, careful to avoid getting cut, and landed on the other side, her long fall boots slightly sinking into the soft earth, and immediately dashed behind a stack of concrete blocks nearby. The feeling of dread continued to increase as she observed a line of people waiting to get into the structure. There were various piles of blocks and boxes that she used to stay in the shadows and watch what was happening. As she made her way closer and closer, Chell felt despair settling in. With a start, she realized that they weren’t people. None of them were. They were all creatures she’d never even imagined, and they were all annoyed by the wait. Standing at various points were guards, who seemed to be humanoid in figure, but wearing skull-like masks with glowing blue eyes. At least, she hoped they were masks.

As she stood, frozen in shock, Chell heard a shout come from a guard.

“There’s someone over there!” It pointed at her, causing the guards closest to her to chase her.

Panicked, Chell knocked over the boxes she was hiding behind in hopes of slowing them down, then ran as fast as she could.

“A human!”

“What? Impossible! They’ve been gone for over seven thousand years!”

Chell kept running, refusing to turn back, even as the pang in her chest tried to slow her down when she heard what they said. She made it back to the fence and didn’t hesitate to climb back over it. She was less careful this time and ended up scratching herself on the barbed wire. As she landed on the other side, the heel braces of her boots sank agonizingly deep into the soil. Panicked, she almost fell over in her attempt to extract them, allowing the guards to catch up to her on the other side of the fence. Not taking the time to glance back, she started running again.

“She hopped the fence!”

“Leave her there! There’s nothing but dust and radioactive decay out there. She won’t survive a week.”

Even in her heartbreak, Chell couldn’t suppress a smirk at the fact that, just like GLaDOS, those guards had underestimated her will to live. She heard shouts to increase security on the fence to make sure she didn’t come back. Even though she knew they wouldn’t follow, Chell kept running. Even when tears started running down her face and her body threatened to collapse underneath her, she kept running, well into the woods.

Chell didn’t stop running until she tripped over a tree root, unable to see it in the dark, and landed on all fours in the dirt. It was then that the sobs came. The kind that practically hurt every time you take a breath, but it doesn’t end. Big, dramatic, and loud.

At least now she knew her voice worked.

Chell wailed like a child, digging her fingers into the earth. She wailed and screamed and sobbed with no end in sight. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d cried like that. Maybe she never had.

It was all for nothing. Playing by GLaDOS’s rules, playing by Wheatley’s rules, solving puzzle after puzzle, climbing up through Old Aperture. Recovering. Eating. Preparing. Planning. Her will to live. Her determination to survive. Her goddamn ninety-ninth percentile tenacity. It had all brought her here, and for what? Nothing. There was no life for her here. There was no life for her anywhere. The closest semblance to humanity was Aperture’s lab facility, and it was run by a giant, murderous AI.

After years of refusing to speak, Chell sobbed as though it were an attempt to make it so she _couldn’t_ speak again. And finally, after what felt like hours, she collapsed from exhaustion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I try to include the Half-Life universe whilst barely knowing anything about it lmao (sorry, I've never played the games)


	5. Return

_“Doo, doo, doo, doodoo, doodoodoodoo,”_

Chell awoke to a familiar tune being played. Her head ached and her throat was sore, but she knew that tune. It had been stuck in her head for her first few days of freedom. It sounded different, though, like it was being played through a tiny speaker, or from a radio. Chell sat up and looked around before recognizing the bush she had stashed the Companion Cube in. In her blind, panicked run the night before, she’d somehow made her way back to it.

Sure that she was going crazy, Chell cautiously approached the bush. As she drew closer, the music became louder. She reached out and moved a branch to see the cube that was definitely playing _that_ song. With no idea of the name of it, Chell had simply referred to it as the Turret Song in her head. The one that they had sung for her on her elevator ride up to the surface. Unfortunately, the Companion Cube didn’t include the lyrics, just the wordless tune. Chell reached into the bush and picked it up. As she did so, the tune stopped, and the cube instead started beeping.

Out of both surprise and fear, Chell dropped the cube and scrambled away, expecting an explosion. Instead, the beeping stopped. Still wary, Chell kept her distance and drank some water from her flask - which she miraculously hadn’t dropped - in an attempt to ease her burning throat.

After a few minutes, Chell approached the cube again and picked it up. No beeping. Willing to chalk up the whole thing to a hallucination, Chell turned around with the cube in her hands, and it started to beep again. Confused, Chell turned back around, and the beeping gradually quieted before silencing. She slowly turned until the beeping was at the loudest it could go, trying to figure out this newest puzzle.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up when she considered one possibility of what was going on. She checked what direction she was facing using the sun. Northwest. Her heart sank as she realized she’d been played like a fool. The speech, the farewell opera, the cube, it was all a ruse. Another one of the AI’s mind tricks. GLaDOS had known all along that Chell wouldn’t be able to survive out here, and teasingly gave her a way back to Aperture, back into her clutches.

And Chell had no choice but to play along because in spite of what she told herself, living inside Aperture was not as bad as dying out here would be.

 

* * *

 

It had only taken about a week of travelling for Chell to find herself back at the edge of the wheat field.

She attributed this to the fact that for months, she had travelled without aim in any direction she pleased before finally deciding to head east permanently in hopes of finding civilisation.

As she stood, staring at the Aperture Shed, Chell’s stomach felt like a very tiny, very heavy rock inside her. Many times along the way had she considered turning back around and looking for another city, maybe a less hostile one. But no, she couldn’t. She was quite possibly the last living human on earth, and if she was going to make peace with anyone, she had a better chance with GLaDOS. So she kept going.

And here she was, hovering just outside the wheat field. For a moment, Chell reconsidered her idea long ago to simply live in the woods right here, until she died. She shook this idea from her head for a second time. She was tired, she was filthy, and she had lost. Fair and square.

Chell readjusted the Companion Cube’s position on her back as she made her way to the shed. The door opened surprisingly easily, and Chell warily stepped back into the waiting elevator. As it descended, the cube started to play the tune again, and Chell braced herself for whatever condescending snark she would no doubt receive from GLaDOS. Probably something about gaining weight off her meager diet. Or a question of “Did you meet your _real_ parents out there? Oh, that’s right. Anyone who could have loved you would have died many millennia ago.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter! Sorry about how short it is! The next one is suuuuper long, though, so it'll take a little bit for me to edit it, plus I'm going out of town tomorrow. In other words, it may be a few days before I can upload it.


	6. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a warning, this chapter's pretty long!

It was true that GLaDOS could feel everything that happened in her facility. But it was most easily comparable to the human body, where certain functions can go unnoticed unless one was directly focused on them. Like breathing. Or elevators.

Because of this, GLaDOS didn’t notice when Chell reopened the shed, and didn’t notice when the elevator started to descend. If Chell had returned sooner, it would have been a different story entirely, since for about a month there was a small part of the AI that was paying attention to that door, to that elevator.

But more than half a year had passed, and GLaDOS had other things to focus on. Testing Atlas and P-Body, for one.

“Orange, stop wasting everyone’s time,” she said as the robot shoved its partner over a ledge. She refused to call them by their formal names. It would imply that she respected them more than she did.

The AI did, however, notice when the elevator glass was broken, and when it came to an emergency stop. Alarmed, she accessed the cameras that were closest to where it was, but it was no use. She couldn’t see what had happened.

But she could certainly feel someone walking through her facility.

 

* * *

 

Part of the way down the elevator ride, Chell had fully realized the insanity of what she was doing. But there was no going back now. She knew that the elevator would deposit her directly in the central core's main chamber. Then her stubbornness kicked in again - if she was going to return to Aperture, she was going to do it _her_ way.

With this, Chell took the Companion Cube and smashed it against the glass of the elevator. It took a few tries, but the glass finally shattered, causing the elevator to come to an emergency stop. Hoisting the Companion Cube back over her shoulders, Chell quickly climbed out of the vessel in case it went into freefall. Another memory played in her head, one of a small potato chiding her for walking back over to Wheatley’s death trap.

_“You really do have brain damage, don’t you? I can’t believe you came back.”_

Pressed against the wall of the shaft, Chell was grateful to see that she wouldn’t have to climb too much before reaching a defunct Pneumatic Diversity Vent. She hauled herself in and, due to the tight space, she was forced to push the cube in front of her as she crawled through the vent’s network. It wasn’t long before she came across a part of the tube that was cracked open, revealing a hole large enough for her to drop down into the room below. It was definitely a backstage area, maybe connected to the office spaces. As she stood, trying to get a grip on where in the facility she was, a familiar voice echoed through the room.

“I know you’re there.”

Chell froze and instinctively looked around for the cameras that she knew she wouldn't find.

“I can feel _everything_ that happens in this facility. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t be able to notice an intruder?”

Chell tried to shake off her nerves, ignore what GLaDOS was saying, and keep moving, determined to navigate her way down to the main chamber.

“You obviously don’t know where you’re going, so why don’t you save us both the time and effort and just tell me who you are and why you’re invading my facility.”

Chell froze again. Did GLaDOS really not know it was her? Sure, she couldn’t _see_ Chell, but who else would have broken out of an elevator and purposefully gone into the unsupervised areas of Aperture?

“Are you even listening to me? I said you’re going the wrong way.”

Chell resisted flinching at the memories that were brought up from those words. She found an office area and tried various doors in the hallway, most of which were no longer even capable of opening. She had conflicted feelings about the fact that the almost-omnipotent AI didn’t know it was her. A part of her relished in the fact that she was, once again, beating the robot at her own game.

Another part of her knew that this meant there was nothing preventing GLaDOS from killing her when she got the chance.

“Fine, if you’re going to ignore me, then we’ll have to do this the hard way.”

Yep, she was definitely going to kill her.

Paranoid, Chell lifted part of her shirt to cover her nose, as though the piece of cloth could filter out any neurotoxin that may start emitting. But as Chell travelled from office space to walkway to office space, she realized that neurotoxin wasn’t the AI’s plan. Not thinking to check, she rounded a corner blindly and found a red beam pointed at her.

_“Target acquired.”_

Chell’s reflexes kicked in and she quickly jumped back around the corner before the turret had a chance to shoot.

_“Are you still there?”_

“I’m not going to lie, I heavily considered simply blasting you with neurotoxin,” GLaDOS’s voice echoed through the room. “But I realized intruders don’t deserve such a...nonviolent...death.”

Chell huffed and leaned against the wall, trying to figure out a plan. So far, this had really been the only way she could go. Backtracking would likely be useless.

Wary, Chell slowly poked her head around the corner in an attempt to see if there was anything she could use to her advantage. It was on a walkway at the end of the hallway she was in, surrounded by nothing but empty space.

 _“There you-”_ The turret froze in the middle of its line, and the red beam disappeared. Confused, Chell stared at it as it tucked in its panels. _“Sleep mode activated.”_

 _What?_ Chell thought. As far as she knew, the turrets weren’t capable of recognizing anyone as anything besides a target, and there should be nothing stopping them from shooting her. She thought back to the song they’d sung to her months ago. At the time, she’d assumed GLaDOS was controlling them and directing their song, and maybe that was true. But maybe they were also capable of recognizing her.

Still wary, Chell cautiously made her way over to the turret. It stayed still, even as she placed a hand on top of it. She knew how much they hated being picked up, though, so she decided it would be best to leave it there and carry on.

GLaDOS felt the intruder walk past where she’d placed her turret. Confused, she inwardly questioned what was going on, why her turret refused to fire.

_Maybe it’s her._

**[CAROLINE DELETED]**

_You have to know by now that deleting me does nothing, so why do you keep trying?_

**[CAROLINE DELETED]**

_Fine, fine. I’ll leave you alone. For now._

**[CAROLINE DELETED]**

After waiting a few moments to make sure that woman kept to her word, GLaDOS turned to address the intruder again, who was quickly making their way through her facility. No, Caroline was wrong. It had been almost a year, why would she return now?

“What did you do to my turret?” The voice echoed in the empty space surrounding the walkway Chell was on. She ignored the voice and pushed on, moving past the countless turrets that refused to shoot her and making her way through the labyrinth of Aperture’s facility. The AI continued to make snide comments as she moved.

“You don’t even know what you’re doing. You don’t even know what this facility is.”

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll turn around and head back to wherever you came from.”

“Good news: the elevator is working again. You no longer have to climb an empty shaft in order to escape my facility.”

“Believe me, if you keep this up, you’re going to regret listening to whatever sent you down here.”

“Can you hear me?”

“Do you realize how rude you’re being? Have I ever come into your house, broken down your front door, and proceeded to hide in your closet?”

“You don’t even care, do you?”

“Did you hear me? I said you don’t care.”

“Where did you go?”

By this time, Chell had made it to the hallway that led up to the central core’s chamber. She had to admit she was surprised there weren’t any cameras here, and especially that the AI seemed to have lost her. As she approached the door, she noticed a hole in the ceiling. Thinking quickly, Chell kicked the door to announce her presence before jumping up and climbing through the hole in the ceiling. Her time outside had strengthened her and healed her, and she was now even more agile than she had been the first time she had to navigate through the facility. She made her way across the top of the hallway as the door below her opened, and was lucky to find that climbing over the domed roof wouldn’t be too hard.

“You can’t hide from me, I know you’re out there.”

While GLaDOS was distracted, Chell quickly and lightly made her way over to the other side of the room and found a panel that gave her access inside. She peaked in to see that GLaDOS was still completely focused on the hallway past the door. Chell silently poked her legs through the gap before shoving the rest of her body through, landing on the ground below with a loud clang.

Startled, GLaDOS’s chassis swung around to observe the noise, only to discover who the intruder was. For a few seconds, she silently observed the woman, watching as Chell rose from her landing crouch, her expression as defiant as ever.

She was dirty from the surface, her formerly white Aperture tanktop now a dull grey. The lower half of her jumpsuit was in tatters around her legs and no longer orange, but an odd brown from dirt, and the top half had been ripped off completely in order to assemble the various pouches that she wore around her hips. Chell’s hair was hanging in wild tangles around her shoulders, her hair tie having broken long ago. The long fall boots were caked with dirt and leaves where their crevices were, and one wouldn’t be able to tell that they had originally been white. To top it all off, she had the Companion Cube strapped to her back with a cable.

Her breathing heavy, it took every ounce of control that Chell had in order not to flinch when the massive chassis swung around so she was face-to-faceplate with GLaDOS. The AI was uncomfortably close, merely inches away as the yellow optic looked Chell up and down a few times.

“It’s _you,_ ” Her tone was indistinguishable.

Chell held her gaze even as the robot sighed and swung back around to face away from her. Various panels reassembled themselves on the wall that the AI was facing so that numerous monitors revealed different areas of the facility.

“I’m very busy, you know, so it would be in both of our interests if you would simply tell me why you’ve decided to return instead of making me guess,” she said as though Chell's presence was more of an inconvenience than a surprise.

As stubborn as ever, Chell simply continued to stare at her. But she was also confused. Didn’t GLaDOS know she would come back? Why else would she have implemented the tracking device in the Companion Cube?

GLaDOS sighed again. “If you’ve come to kill me, you’re doing a terrible job of it so far.”

Chell still refused to respond.

The chassis curled upward a small bit before swinging around to face Chell again. She spoke again, more viciously this time. “It’s been almost a year. I was close to forgetting about you. If you’re here to gloat about how great your life is on the surface, go on ahead. Get it over with so you can leave and we can forget about each other.”

Chell’s resoluteness broke for a split second, which was enough for the AI to see the poignant expression flash across her face. The yellow optic narrowed, and when she spoke again, it was in a noticeably softer tone.

“How did you even find your way back?”

Chell quickly removed the Companion Cube from its place on her back and held it out in front of her.

Playing dumb, GLaDOS simply stared at the cube before speaking in that almost-automated voice. “The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak,” she stated before turning away again.

Chell’s annoyance showed on her face. She rolled her eyes and placed the cube down on the floor before crossing her arms and staring at the AI again.

GLaDOS spoke again, this time with a slight bit of gloating creeping into her tone. “The Companion Cube cannot speak, but I think I _do_ remember some sort of tracking modification installed in it. Of course, that modification would only activate if the cube’s companion _spoke_.”

Chell froze, finally understanding how the cube had suddenly started to guide her back to Aperture. She felt a blush creep onto her face.

“Dangerous? Yes. Lunatic? Definitely. But perhaps you aren’t as mute as you’d like me to believe, Chell.”

Chell started at the sound of her own name. It had been so long since the last time she’d heard it. GLaDOS was trying to throw her off guard, and it worked.

“So, now that we know you _can_ speak, maybe you’ll finally tell me _why_ you’ve returned to my facility, if not to kill me again.”

Chell didn’t want to speak. She _really_ didn't want to speak. Refusing to respond to GLaDOS’s poking and prodding was the only kind of control she'd ever had. She’d spent so long knowing that if she spoke, she lost.

But now the rules were different.

Chell swallowed and hesitantly opened her mouth, glad that GLaDOS was facing away from her. Her voice worked, yes, but she still hadn’t tried actually _speaking._ She closed it again, then uncrossed her arms and resolutely glared at her.

“Maybe after you admit that you’re actually glad to see me.”

GLaDOS swung back around to face Chell, who was also surprised by her own voice. It was still hoarse from screaming as well as lack of use, but it was still there. It was a few seconds before the shock wore off and GLaDOS fully processed what Chell had said. She emitted a mechanical laugh.

“Why would I be glad? I don’t know if you know this, but most people _aren’t_ happy to see the face of the person that killed them.”

Chell crossed her arms again, returning to stubborn silence. She wasn't going to lose this battle. The yellow optic narrowed again and the two simply stared at each other, equally stubborn. After what felt like an hour, but was probably only a few seconds, the yellow optic widened again and GLaDOS swung to face away from Chell.

“ _I_ didn’t miss you. And I’m certainly not happy to see you. Caroline, however, tries to convince me otherwise.”

Chell uncrossed her arms, recognizing the compromise. “I thought you deleted Caroline.”

“She stubbornly insists on staying in my database. It’s annoying. Like you.”

Chell rolled her eyes at GLaDOS, who was still facing away from her. She then shifted so that she was standing awkwardly, and felt her heart sink further and further into her stomach as she spoke.

“There’s nothing up there.”

GLaDOS faced her again. “You know, I think I preferred when you didn’t speak. It prevented you from _lying_ to me.”

Annoyed, Chell continued. “Do you think I would come back if there was? I spent over six months searching for civilisation, but what I found was...indescribable. The Earth isn’t being governed by people anymore. In fact, I may very well be the last human on Earth.”

“No humans?” GLaDOS looked up in contemplation. “That sounds like the opposite of a problem to me. Who’s in charge, then? A sentient cloud? Robots?”

Chell scoffed. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Well, if artificial intelligence didn’t take down humanity, then what did?”

She hesitated before responding, averting her gaze. “Aliens.”

Instead of responding, GLaDOS just stared at her for a few seconds. “It’s hard to tell when you’re joking.”

“Why would I joke about this?”

The AI contemplated the ceiling again. “Hm. Still, why should I trust you not to kill me?”

Chell came close to sneering at the robot before arguing, her voice growing stronger with each word. “Do you think I _wanted_ to come back? You always press on and on about how I killed you, and you coincidentally forget that you tried to kill me first, after hours of rigorous and potentially lethal tests. You pushed me to fatigue, you tried to play mind tricks on me, and after I finished it all, after I passed all of your tests, you tried to incinerate me. _I_ may have been successful, but _you_ tried to kill me first.”

GLaDOS stared at her, the yellow optic unwavering. Chell wondered what kind of snark she was going to come up with in retaliation. Instead, she just turned away.

“Humans die. Every time I tested, the human would die at the end. That was that. There was no jumping out of the incinerator, there was no hiding from me, there was no threat to me. Data could only be gathered after the test subject died. Without the possibility of death, it isn’t even science. Without the consequence of death, it isn't even science. _Human_ death, of course. _I_ was never meant to die. You were meant to test and to die, and I was meant to gather data and live forever.” Her voice lowered. “But you had to change that. You had to break the rules, break my trust. And I _still_ can’t forgive you for that.”

Chell stayed silent for a few minutes after GLaDOS had finished and turned back to her monitors. The AI was clearly incapable of understanding her stance. She wondered if she should argue her case, if she should press the issue that GLaDOS had hurt her first. Instead, when she spoke, she spoke in a soft murmur, and was unsure if she had been heard.

“I never agreed to die.”

For a while, GLaDOS ignored her, causing Chell to be more certain that she hadn't been heard. She wondered if there was something else she could say in order to get the AI to understand.

GLaDOS twitched before speaking in her neutral tone again. “If you’re going to insist on staying in my facility, then fine. But I’m not going to help you survive down here. Stay out of my way, and I won’t kill you.”

Stunned, Chell stood there, staring at the AI. Even though GLaDOS wasn’t looking at her, she nodded and said, “Likewise,” before picking the cube up and starting to make her way across the room to the door.

“I trust you know how to return to the relaxation chambers. They are the only areas with human resources, after all.”

Chell stopped, glancing at the machine, who was watching her. “I’ll figure it out.”

“ _Do_ try to break your habit of destroying my facility, please. And feel free to find some new clothes. And for the love of science, clean those boots. They are much more important to science than you’ll ever be.”

Chell smiled and started towards the door again, her boots making distinctive clicks as she walked. Just as she had reached the door, GLaDOS spoke up again.

“You forgot something,” she stated as a robotic claw delivered the portal gun to Chell. “You may no longer be a test subject, but the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device is still necessary for navigating through my facility.”

Chell considered making a remark on how the AI had said she wouldn’t help her, but decided against it. She turned again and left the room, but just as she was on the other side of the door, she heard GLaDOS speak up again, this time in a voice that didn’t quite sound like hers.

“You’re looking well, by the way.”

**[CAROLINE DELETED]**

Chell held back a laugh as the door aggressively closed behind her. Pressing her lips together to avoid smiling, she held the portal gun in her hands, admiring its familiar weight and shape. This wasn’t ideal, and if she had told herself, back in that nineteenth test chamber, that fifty thousand years later she would be _choosing_ to live in Aperture, she would have laughed. But this really was her only option, and damn if she wasn’t going to thrive down here.

This wasn’t her making lemonade. This was her demanding that life take the lemons back. This was her demanding better than lemons.

For so long, Chell had lived by the rules set by others. The scientists, GLaDOS, even Wheatley. Now, though? Now, she was going to set her own rules. After all, it would be necessary if she was going to cohabitate with a potentially homicidal machine.

  
She’d never liked lemonade, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you have any thought, suggestions, or questions, feel free to tell me in the comments! I would love feedback!
> 
> And if you're interested in more like this or want to stay updated on whatever I may write next, you can follow me at alexandriansight.tumblr.com
> 
> Have a nice day!


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